Prison Issue - 'You Better Watch Out' Christmas Single

Oh Christmas you disgusting bugger, you’ve come and drained our hard earned cash once again, fucked with our digestive systems, and made even more of an indent on the ole’ liver. Just when you thought that actually doesn’t sound too bad apart from being horribly broke, you are violently reminded that, unfortunately there are some hard-to-shake Christmas traditions that creep around every corner, such as: being forced into unwanted extended family gatherings, watching God-awful Xmas TV and finally, yes, you got it, enduring listening to Christmas carols and hideously over-played Christmas pop songs, that, frankly, are getting so old you’re very much considering ingesting one too many quadruple sherry’s and passing out conveniently close to the open burning fire.

Now I know that all sounds a bit morbid, but I can’t help but think that sometimes when the die-hard traditions make you contemplate a quick way out of this planet, you need a fucking grotesque and offensively bold ‘something’ to make your pessimistic thoughts seem founded. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is when I give unto you, the most anti-Christmas single known to man, created by none other than Brighton’s own Prison Issue! (Goodbye Weirdo Records).

In 2010 after the demise of The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster, Prison Issue came into our worlds with a big gruesome bang. Let’s just say that after releasing their six track LP filled with obscene tracks and after playing said tracks to unsuspecting audiences around Brighton at open mic nights, Prisson Issue were not welcome in a plethora of venue,s and thus, took a sizable hiatus. But fear not! They come back with fire and venom and also made a sexy-looking video to go with the track.

Let’s get to the point right this instant – this single is pretty dense. It’s production is chunky and older than old school, and the lyrics are very offensive to Mr Clause. Some may say its straight up hip hop, and some may find that offensive in itself, but the point is, it’s comical, clever, and rather catchy.

I know I’m not the only soul to sometimes feel the need to poke fun at these ridiculous stories of a fat man with a large white beard ploughing on down everyone’s chimneys on Christmas Eve (oh the innuendo’s!), so it is shall we say, a relief, that someone has gone for the jugular and shoved a mince pie right up the arse of Santa and his God-damn carols in the form of ‘You Better Watch Out’.

The rest is up for your ears to decide what you make of this assault to Christmas cheer, but one thing is for sure, whether you are a man or a woman, you’ll have second thoughts next time you consider going to bed with a man with a long white beard, and maybe we have Prison Issue to thank for that…? Who bloody knows.

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